Communicating with your Loved Ones on
the Other Side…
I have been very blessed to be aware of my ability to
communicate with the “other side” for about 15 years now. I have primarily
focused on channeling angels and spirit guides of the higher realms. This
work has been incredibly rewarding and now I can’t imagine life without channeling
my guides and angels for myself and others.
A Channeler’s Perspective
By Terra Sonora
(Published in the Sedona Journal of Emergence, May 2002 Issue)
I’d like to share with you some of my experiences in communicating
with the other side, and some techniques to help you make those connections
yourself. I also hope to bring the old concepts of the Séance
into a new millennium perspective.
About 7 years ago I had an amazing channeling session
with a client of mine, whose husband had committed suicide a few years before.
The spirit of her deceased husband appeared to me during the session, and
said he wanted to ask for her forgiveness. He realized in the afterlife
how much emotional pain he had caused her and he wanted me to express to
her how sorry he felt. I relayed the messages and it was so powerful
as I could feel his emotions expressing through me. The second she
verbalized that she forgave him, a huge beam of light came down from above
(it felt like God!) and his soul was completely enveloped in this brilliant
light. I clearly saw his spirit rise up into the Light with an incredible
radiant joyfulness. He ascended right before me and I was so awestruck
that I wept profusely, along with my client. It truly felt as though
I had facilitated and witnessed a genuine miracle.
That experience made me realize how powerfully healing
it can be to work with the other side. To help someone connect with
a loved one who has died, builds a bridge of understanding and healing that
is beyond words. It is priceless and it still feels like a miracle
I am so grateful to John Edward, a famous Medium from
Long Island, New York, who has a wonderful television show called “Crossing
Over.” It is still amazing to me that our society has opened up enough
that networks like CBS and the Sci Fi Channel, would broadcast to millions
of people every day, a genuine medium in his prime, communicating with those
who have crossed over. I love the commercial for the show: “The afterlife
will be televised!” These are exciting times indeed! He provides
validations by bringing through information about the family that he would
have no way of knowing. His courage, to be under such high public scrutiny,
and do what he does so well, is remarkable and deeply appreciated by those
of us in this field. I personally want to thank him for awakening so
many to the truth of our souls.
I have been bringing through these kinds of validations in my channeling
sessions for years, but I purposefully avoided calling myself a medium.
It has taken me years to be more comfortable about using the “m” word.
To call myself a medium felt like an invitation to be challenged. I
feared attracting new clients that would demand specific details, and who
would be quick to deem me a fake for failing to pass their tests. Who
needs that kind of stress?! I still don’t want to attract those kinds
of clients, but I’m no longer afraid of them.
Over the years, more and more of my clients were asking my guides to relay
messages from their loved ones on the other side. It got to the point
that every time I would channel for my meditation groups, someone would almost
always ask for a message from a deceased relative. Often others would
jump on the bandwagon and instead of the group enjoying compelling questions
and answers that would benefit everyone, messages from loved ones began to
dominate my open channeling circles. Although I appreciated the importance
of those personal messages, I really wanted to keep the dead people out of
my meditation groups! So, I decided to set aside specific evenings
devoted to talking to deceased loved ones. My spirit guides and my
clients were thrilled. Thus, I started having séances in my
A Séance... for some that word conjures up an image of a cold,
dark room, a large round table, and a spooky-looking medium who starts flailing
her arms around as the spirits move her. As she trances out and her eyes
roll to the back of her head, a booming voice, not her own, commands the
room. The participants, called “sitters,” are awe-struck as the eerie
rapping sounds send shivers down their spines. Then, suddenly, the
lights flicker and the table levitates off the floor! The medium then,
hopefully, speaks messages from the great beyond. Oh, the drama
of the olden days!
I like to think that I’ve updated my Séances for
the twenty-first century. I welcome ten people into my warm living
room, and invite them to get comfortable. The scent of freshly baked
cinnamon coffee cake blends nicely with my nag champa incense. I have
plants, angels, candles and crystals tucked in every corner of the room.
As people come in they are invited to light a candle in memory of a loved
A few years ago when my best friend Vicki died of cancer at the age
of 48, I made a candle garden for her memorial service. It is set on
a beautiful crystal cake plate with a large pillar candle in the center,
with many votives and silk flowers all around it. I held onto this
candle garden for years, never wanting to disassemble it. In preparing
for my first séance, I heard Vicki’s spirit suggest that I use her
candle garden to allow people to light a candle in memory of a loved one.
It lends a bit of sacred ceremony to the occasion.
With the living room sofa and chairs loosely set up in
a circle, I begin the evening by leading a 15-minute guided meditation to
help everyone open up to loving energies. We welcome in the energies of God/Goddess,
Christ, Mother Mary, the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and all of our
own guardian angels and spirit guides. We then invite the spirits of
our deceased loved ones to join with us. This gives everyone the opportunity
to begin feeling the presence of the spirits themselves and come into a peaceful
state of being. I keep the light of God strong around our circle so
that only loving beings on the other side can participate. I feel safe
in this work as I know there is nothing “evil” that can hurt me or anyone
in the room.
A Meditation to connect with your Loved Ones
To do this on your own, find a quiet place to sit and
relax. Visualize white light from the heart of God pouring into your
heart and soul. Allow yourself to surrender to this beautiful healing
light. Just let go and trust that you are safe in God’s pure Divine
light. Stay in this light until you become aware of your own light
body, your soul or Higher Self.
Once in that higher state of awareness, gently invite
a loved one on the other side to come and be with you. Allow yourself
a moment as you begin the process by remembering how the energy of that person
felt when you were with them. Start the process by imagining that they
are with you. The reality of it is that they are with you when you
call in their spirit, but you have to open the door by first believing that
it is true.
As you begin to feel the spirit of your loved one, allow
your emotions to flow if that is part of your healing process. Try
to hold the focus that the energy of your loved one is still with you.
Allow yourself to say, telepathically or verbally, whatever you want to say
to them. Then take a deep breath and relax again. Keep the focus
on their presence, and allow some quiet time just to be with their energy.
In those moments, keep your heart open to receiving love from them.
This time also allows them the opportunity to telepathically communicate
messages to you.
Do this as often as you need, but remember that your loved
one wants you to heal and get beyond your grief. Often a loved one
on the other side can become a best friend or spirit guide that is with you
purely for love, support and even fun. Open your heart to the many
blessings and gifts of spirit that your loved ones on the other side may
have for you.
Identifying Different Energies of Spirit
In my experience I have found that there are can be a
whole range of energies that you can experience on the other side.
When developing your communication skills with other realms, it is important
to be aware of what types of energies you can run across or call forth.
It is always a good idea to begin your communication work by calling forth
an aspect of God’s energy to strengthen your own aura of love and affirm
a feeling of protection.
To give you a sense of the energy spectrum you can experience, think
about how light and beautiful the energy of the Christ or Mother Mary would
feel. In contrast, now think about the most difficult person you have
had to deal with in this lifetime, and how their energy feels to you.
Their energy or aura might feel dense, like there is anger or some other
heavy emotional energy in or around them. This contrast loosely symbolizes
opposite ends of the spirit energy spectrum. When someone dies, depending
on who they are and what happened to them, their energies could feel anywhere
in this spectrum and even beyond.
Before you call forth the spirit of a loved one on the other side,
consider the state of their soul. Chances are, if your loved one was
a happy and peaceful person while living, connecting with them on the other
side would feel the same way, happy and peaceful. However, if your
loved one died with a great deal of anger or distress, you may tap into some
uncomfortable energy if you try to contact them too soon after they have
died. In these situations, send their soul love and healing prayers
to assist them in their transition.
When I was asked to contact a young woman who had committed suicide
just a couple months prior, her soul was not talkative at all, and really
did not want to be disturbed. I clearly saw her, but she was completely
wrapped in a cocoon of healing energy. I relayed that she was still
in her healing process and that perhaps we could try to connect with her
at a later time. In the meantime, I was clearly guided that we were
to send her prayers of healing energy to support her. I knew that she
would not be stuck there forever, but that in time her soul would heal.
I believe our soul goes through a healing process upon the death transition
that is intended to clear and transform those kinds of difficult energies.
Our angels, spirit guides, and loved ones who passed before us, work with
our soul to create peace and deeper understandings of our lifetime on a soul
level. This is a process of integrating the lessons that were meant
to be learned in this lifetime. Since we transition in death to a non-linear
existence, it is difficult to put a time frame on this healing process.
For some it could be instantaneous with death, or it may seem to take days,
months or years.
Just be aware that depending on how recent the death was, the way
in which the person died (peaceful or violent, anticipated or sudden) and
the soul evolution level of the person who passed, all these factors may
influence the feelings you potentially could experience when you connect
with them. Some souls incarnate here to learn some pretty heavy lessons,
and some souls are purely angelic beings that incarnate as humans to serve
a higher purpose. If you have any question about the state of being
of your loved one, send healing prayers first. Whenever it feels comfortable
to you, start the telepathic communication by sending them love. Then
open your heart to feel their love for you.
It was only three days after my best friend Vicki died, that she came
to me in spirit and showed me that she was fully integrated into the bliss
of God. She and I had channeled the Christ Consciousness together in
the early 1990’s, so she was very familiar with the higher realms.
Even though her life review process may have taken more than three days in
our linear perspective, I was greatly comforted by knowing she had found
her home in the higher realms and was with Christ.
My Process of Opening to Spirit
As I studied more about traditional séances, I
learned that it is not unusual for the medium to use a spirit guide to help
with the process of bringing through messages. Since I started out
this work as a channeler, it was a natural progression to use my spirit guides
for mediumship. To begin every channeling session, I bring myself
into an altered state or a higher state of consciousness. I do this
by focusing on my breath and visualizing white light pouring into me from
the heart of God. Usually within a minute or so, I begin to feel a
heightened sense of awareness. In that state, I welcome my angels and
spirit guides to come and blend with me. This is always a beautiful
and loving experience.
I am blessed to work with a loving angelic entity named
“ONE.” When I first call them in, I “hear” them greet me lovingly,
and then I feel their energies blending with mine. Over these past
15 years, I have developed a deep and trusting relationship with them because
they have consistently proven themselves to be in harmony with the energies
of God and Christ. I’m honored to say that they have never disappointed
me and have always amazed me. That is why I can surrender myself to
their loving energies, because I have total and complete trust in them.
As ONE blends with me, I allow them to speak directly through me.
My voice changes a bit as ONE has a strong Celtic vibration and an Irish
brogue often comes through. When I am in this altered state of consciousness,
I am aware of everything ONE says, and I can “see” with my mind’s eye, and
“hear” telepathic communications from spirit very clearly. The
people I channel for hear the words, but I’m watching the movie! It
is truly a multi-sensory experience.
Messages from the Other Side
I always explain up front that there are never any guarantees in this
work. I have found that if someone has pre-set ideas of particular
information that must come through to prove that this is real, that the spirits
don’t really want to play that game and they may or may not cooperate.
We have to understand that in this process, they choose what message comes
through, not you, and not me. We should honor and respect them enough
to be grateful for whatever message or validation they choose to convey.
Some spirits are very talkative and have a lot to say,
often with details and specifics about their life to prove and validate their
presence for their loved ones. Sometimes the spirits come through in
a loving and blissful state simply wanting their loved one to know they are
at peace and their love for them has survived.
While there are no guarantees that spirit will say what
you want them to say, I always let my clients know that I take this work
very seriously and I promise that I will do the very best I can to serve
them well. I believe they can feel my sincerity. I also express
my respect for the depth of pain that grieving a loved one can create.
Death of a loved one is probably the worst emotional experience we as humans
endure. The profound depth of love and caring we can feel for another
soul is equal in energy to the depth of pain and suffering we can feel in
As we begin the séance, ONE “looks” around the
room and telepathically asks for a spirit to offer their name and a message
to their loved one who is present in our circle (the “sitters”). Often
I will see a face rush up to me, from a specific direction, and hear a name.
Sometimes they will say their name or the name of the person they are appearing
for. ONE and I then relay those messages. In one séance
a strong female spirit flew at me from straight across the room and said
clearly her name was Kathryn and she was here for her granddaughter.
As we spoke that, the woman sitting directly across from me gasped and said
her grandmother’s name was Kathryn. Kathryn then began to relay a powerful
message for her granddaughter in the bold style she was known for in life.
Typically, the energy and personalities of the people come in quite clear.
In another séance, a woman’s deceased husband came in and was
really working his charms on the women in the room. He said he wished he
could give every one of them a kiss. Suddenly we were interrupted by
another spirit named Paul, who felt this guy was getting too much attention.
The woman gasped as Paul was her second deceased husband! Everyone
who knew Paul was laughing hysterically as it was totally Paul’s personality
to step in and demand equal time! Séances can really be
a lot of fun sometimes.
Often questions are asked of the sitters to get clarification
on what is coming through. It’s as though when a positive response
comes from the sitter, it strengthens the connection and more information
can then flow through. The recognition seems to bring them closer.
However, if I’m getting a clear presence of a spirit named Mildred and no
one in the room is acknowledging that they know who Mildred is, then we have
to send Mildred away. In that case, the spirit might feel disappointed
that she was not able to bring through her message. I often wonder
whether these are wandering spirits who actually don’t “belong” to anyone
in the room or whether one of the sitters just plain forgot about poor old,
dead Aunt Mildred.
The professional mediums I have seen in action (John Edward,
Suzane Northrop and John Holland) have developed systems of communication
in symbols that help support the process of bringing through specific details.
These mediums are among America’s finest and you can rest assured they are
For example, as John Edward often explains on his show,
a spirit may be indicating another individual as above, below or beside them.
This has universally been interpreted as parent, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
are above, siblings and friends and colleagues appear to the side and children
below, as generational hierarchy symbols. I use this system as well,
but I recently had a spirit come in with a sisterly (beside) energy and it
turned out to be the woman’s mother. As the information continued to
come through, it was shown to me that this mother felt more like a sister
to her daughter than a mother, and that the two had been sisters in a past
There are many other symbols that may come through, but
the spirits have to work within each medium’s frame of reference or basis
of knowledge. As the medium “sees” and “hears” things, the best we
can do is relay it verbatim and work with the clients in its proper application
Spirits will relay their messages via visual, auditory
or sensory tactics. Mediums must learn to trust what comes through
because self-doubt and second-guessing can create our greatest blocks.
Trust and confidence are the benchmarks of a good medium.
Physical Brain vs. Soul Mind
I have come to understand a distinction between our physical
brain and our soul mind. Think about this for a minute, you die; your
brain is dead, gone. What’s left? Thankfully, your soul!
Your soul has a mind, a consciousness, an awareness of itself, where it has
been and what it has experienced. However, the “soul mind” certainly
can have selective memory. The soul remembers what was important to
it on a soul level. Once passed on, Uncle Charlie may not remember
where he left the key to the safe! However, he will likely remember
who he loved, the lessons he learned in his life, his favorite things, friends,
or places. For example I recently contacted a young man on the other
side, who kept saying “baseball, baseball, baseball!” I concluded that
this boy must have loved baseball. The woman cried as she shared that
he loved baseball so much that they buried him with his bat! The soul
remembers what is important to it.
Interestingly, sometimes a person’s perspectives or opinions
may change after their death transition. It is as though the blinders
come off and the soul has a more expanded awareness. They can now step
back from their limited ego-self or personality, and see the bigger picture
of life. This “Higher Self” perspective can result in the releasing
of prejudices or judgments that the person may have made during his life.
For example, I once channeled for a gay man, whose father had died.
His dad, in physical life, was completely unaccepting of his son’s lifestyle
choice. When I connected with his soul on the other side, the father
was now giving his blessings to his son and his partner. The father
was truly happy that his son had found someone special to share his life
with, and the prejudice was gone. Unfortunately, the client rejected
the message stating that his father “never would have said that.” Although
his father had found acceptance, the man chose to hold on to the anger he
still felt for his father. As much as I tried to build that bridge
of understanding between them, I believe the mutual healing may have to wait
until this man’s transition, when his Dad greets him with on the other side
with unconditional love.
If you miss your loved ones on the other side, be open
to creating a new relationship with them. Consider their souls to be
alive and well, just living in another dimension. Leave them at rest
if you feel that they would want that, but don’t be afraid to reach out to
them in love. They will let you know in their own way and in their
own time, that they are okay. They may appear to you in a dream, and
that can be a genuine visitation, or you may just suddenly think of them
out of the blue. That could be them, whispering in your ear, or knocking
their picture off the wall. Spirit can communicate with us in so many
different ways. Keep your heart open, and they will find a way in.
The information they may communicate is rarely earth-shattering.
However, if it is a genuine connection, I believe the messages will be loving
and will ring a bell of truth. When I channel messages from the
other side, I know I’m not making up this stuff. I simply deliver messages
and pray that my work always maintains the highest level of integrity.
I also look forward to my work ahead as my medium skills continue to sharpen.
As I said, the key to strengthening my abilities as a medium is to trust
what comes through without second-guessing myself. I hear my guides
laughing as they tell me “Let’s ‘super size’ that medium please!”
I feel so blessed to have such wonderful guides on the
other side. Honestly, I think everyone has wonderful spirit guides
and angels. You should take the time to get to know just how wonderful
they truly are. It is a joy and a privilege for me to commit my life
to serving God by serving humanity as a channeler of the angelic realm.
The mediumship aspect is a delightful bonus that allows me to help people
heal from grief and come to a place of peaceful completion with their loved
ones. I want to show people how to develop this new relationship with
their loved ones in spirit.
I believe the ones we love the most, those who are closest
to us, are there for us in spirit after they pass over, and can be a spirit
guide for you on the other side. Do not worry that you might be holding
them back from anything by talking to them telepathically and keeping your
heart open to giving and receiving love energy with them. They don’t
want to hold you back either. They don’t want you to stay in grief
too long. They want to gently encourage you to feel love in your life
and create joy, again and again.
I’ve had some lively spirits come in, wagging a pointed finger at
their living loved one, saying “Don’t take crap from anyone!” And some
gently encourage us to follow our dreams. Just imagine what your loved
one would be saying to you now - you know what they would say. If it
is loving and supportive, I’m sure you are right. Take that into your
heart and feel their love. I send you my love as well, and I wish for
you the peace that God’s love brings.
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